Christmas Eve 2012

I am really sad that I haven't gotten to do many posts lately,and even more sad that I never got to change my blog over to Christmas. I don't even feel like Christmas happened this year, although my living room sure shows it did lol. My family just seems to keep getting attacked and it's just been one thing right after another. Christmas Eve was NOT normal for us. I started my day out at 5:26 a.m. to get my 4 hours of work in. I started out in a great mood with my Christmas music going. Maddy woke up at 8:30, so I was able to get most of my time in before she woke up. Once I was done the rush was on. We ran up to my mom's so she could go with us to shop and see santa. Santa of coarse was the first thing on the list, however, when we got there the line was closed and we were told he would return at 2:00 p.m. My pea brain was not thinking because church started at 5:00 p.m. We ate lunch at Chick-fil-a and ran into one of my good friends who recently had twin boys. She also has a 3.5 year old son as well. After lunch we headed to Hallmark to get a special ornament. The ornament place we usually go to was not in the mall this year, which also made me very sad. I let Maddy pick out an ornament and she chose santa and rudolph. We went back to wait in line for Santa to return. Santa finally came and we were so excited. I started hearing people talking about how long it would be and when I heard maybe 2 hours I freaked out. We didn't have that kind of time because I still had to shop for my family. I'm not usually such a late shopper, but Manny's vet bill was NOT a planned expense and really hurt the finances. I decided to walk away from the line and again I wasn't thinking and Maddy got so upset. She didn't pitch a fit, but she was whining saying she wanted to see santa. I stopped and tried to explain to her what was going on, but she wanted santa RIGHT THEN! I couldn't go on with shopping until I got her to santa and I'm so glad I didn't wait. We headed over to another mall, Maddy of coarse is still clueless about what is going on and is still sad.On our way there she said she wanted Santa's chair to be red. When we got there low and behold is chair WAS red! I was almost in tears because God worked it all out. There was only two people in front of us and when we got there they had us go in and then shut the doors. We barely made it. We did wait for a while because they had to redo the people in front of us. When it was our turn the lady said their camera wasn't focusing and that was the delay. Maddy didn't really want to smile. She saw a baby in front of us who cried, and I think it kinda scared her.

You can tell we had waited a while. We started our journey around 11 a.m. and this was 3:30-ish pm. Maddy also has a cold that wears her down, plus she missed nap time. After Santa we hit Toys R Us and it felt like we were on the tv show Supermarket Sweep, if you even remember that show lol. I got presents for my two nieces, nephew, and cousin. After that mad dash we dropped my mom off at church and me and Maddy took her car back to her house so we could get our car. I thought we were done, but I remembered I hadn't gotten Maddy's Christmas jammies. By this point we were both exhausted and not feeling well, but she HAD to have her jammies. When we got to the mall I remembered they closed at 6 p.m. We got there at 5:50 p.m. The one store I chose to look had no Christmas jammies whatsoever and they closed the doors on us. My only option was to try Wal-Mart and of coarse they had none in her size left. Next year I hope to do this much earlier lol. We got home around 7:30 p.m. and hadn't even had dinner. I threw some mac and cheese on and tried cleaning a bit. I didn't even bother to wrap the jammies I got her. We didn't make cookies because Maddy really was feeling bad by this point. We didn't even get to make the reindeer food she made at school. I debated on whether or not to do those things without her. At first I wasn't going to, but then I thought about when she went back to school that she might get upset because there were no cookies for Santa and no food for the reindeer. I got a picture of the cookies, but not the reindeer food. Maddy still has yet to ask about either of them. Oh well lol. I went to bed around 3 a.m. because I had a house to clean, but just had to watch Teen Mom 2 first lol.

I normally look this up on the computer, but found it in the app store and HAD to have it lol. As you can see Santa was in Brazil at this point. I can't wait for next year. I think she will understand it a little better. I didn't even get to show her this year because she was feeling so bad. She went to bed with a fever :(

I made chocolate chip cookies for Santa this year and gave him chocolate milk. Maddy isn't a big fan of white milk anymore so chocolate it was :) I hope to put up our Christmas post by the end of the year, but considering that just gives me tomorrow I'm not sure how that will go.

The Manny Diaries

I got to come home yesterday morning (12-10-12). I heard some lady call my name, but I couldn't find where she was. Next thing I know they were putting a leash on me. When I saw my mommy and nana I just ran to them. I missed them something awful and couldn't be still long enough to get my harness and leash back on. My mommy said I looked better, but I was still a bone. I get scared riding in the car when we go over bumps and I kept trying to sit in my mommy's lap. She said I had to sit in my own seat cause she was driving...whatever that means. When we got home I immediately found some garbage and ate 3 pieces of pork. It sure was tasty, but my mommy was worried since I'm apparently not supposed to eat any human food whatsoever. I have this new food called K/D that is supposed to be quite bland and yucky, but I don't mind it too much. My mommy said I would be on this food and some medicine forever. I don't mind the food, but have yet to see the medicine. My mommy assured me I was taking it, but I kinda think she doesn't know what she is talking about. I want to stay close to my mommy and Maddy. We all laid down in the living room and watched tv. I kept trying to lick Maddy, but I don't think she knew what to do. She laughed at me and told mommy I licked her. I'm still quite itchy. My mommy is worried I may not be drinking enough water, but I can only hold so much ya know...I'm just a small pup. I have to go back to the vet next week to have more labwork done...can they find a different pin cushion to stick please??? All in all I am so happy to be home with my family!

12-7-12

I came home from church Wednesday night and put Maddy to bed. Soon after I started working I heard Manny yelping. It was just a little, so I ignored it thinking he just heard us. He then began yelping a lot so I went to go check on him. I found he was standing in nothing but pee in his kennel. I immediately let him out. I went back to work because I'm under a lot of pressure to get some things done on top of my production and time. Manny would periodically yelp and run around and would just pee in the house constantly, without trying to tell me he had to go. I took him out some and he would just go a little and then just stand there, so I assumed he had a urinary tract infection. I had planned on taking him to the vet on Thursday, but I wasn't meeting my work deadline so I decided to wait to take him. I almost chose to wait until Saturday to take him, but I am so thankful I didn't now. His vet had one opening on Friday and that was at 3:00 p.m. It was really bad timing because I was supposed to be working a 13 hour shift and I had visited with my oldest niece that morning because she had a tonsillectomy on Tuesday. I got to the vet and felt horrible telling them what all had been going on with Manny and that it all started last year. His symptoms did improve last year, which is why I never took him. His symptoms included:
-frequent urination
-loss of appetite
-weight loss
-itching all over
-consumed a lot of water
-yelping
-seizures
I was sure the vet would say he had a urinary tract infection, diabetes, and maybe worms. The vet said with his symptoms he was concerned and three things came to mind:diabetes, adrenal gland problem, or kidney failure. I knew it couldn't be the adrenal gland issue because they would gain weight. He then proceeded to tell me that he had looked at his urinalysis and there was no sugar in his urine so it wasn't diabetes. He said his urine levels were the same as his blood. I wasn't really sure what that meant...he then said two words that I immediately knew it was bad. He proceeded to tell me he was in kidney failure. I was in complete shock as to what I was hearing and I wanted to blurt out: so he's gonna die??? I just lost it. He said there's no way to tell just how much his kidney's had failed, but with his numbers he was in at least 75% He said it could be more, but it waasn't 99% because he would be a lot sicker. I asked what could be done and he said unfortunately they don't do transplant in dogs, so nothing. I sat there crying as he went on with his speech. His BUN (blood urea nitrogen) was at 124...normal for dogs is anywhere from 6-24 and his creatinine was 3.8 and normal is .05-1.6. He also is anemic. After thinking there was absolutely nothing that could be done for Manny he came back in the room and said there were a few options. Hospitalize him and get fluids running through him to see if it lowers his levels. If it did then more than likely medication would help keep them down or I could just take him home and try to the medicine and put him on a kidney diet. Of coarse I wanted to do what was best for Manny, so I hospitalized him. That was such a hard day on me. I had it in my head that he was just going to die and I was no where near ready for that to happen. He's only 5 years old and is just my best friend. He is the man of the house and keeps me company. I am extremely close to him! When I left the vets I really did start to feel like Job. I'm in big trouble at work...well..I will be come to tomorrow and now I'm losing my dog. I did kind of think about Job in my head as I drove and remembered how the Lord allowed bad to happen to Him because he knew no matter what Job would still be faithful to Him. I didn't really have much strength to do anything, but I did manage to find things to be thankful about. I feel like maybe the Lord allowed something bad to happen to Manny and protected Maddy. Once I got home I just fell to my knees and let out everything I had been holding in. I felt numb and weak and was not sure how I would make it through the rest of that day. I didn't really realize how much I depended on Manny being here until Friday night. I could not sleep in my room at all. Manny wasn't eagerly ready to go to bed and if I laid in bed he would not curl up as close to me as he could to where he was touching me. I decided to sleep on the couch. Once I laid down and tried to sleep I realized I just couldn't. I tried sleeping on Maddy's couch but that didn't work. I turned the tv back on thinking maybe I would drift to sleep, but I couldn't even watch tv. I just paced around the house. I stared at his stocking and cried. I went to the Christmas tree and thought about how he wouldn't be here for our first Christmas in our home and cried. Out of habit I tried giving him food I had found on the floor or that Maddy didn't eat, but he wasn't there and I cried. If I made a loud noise I immediately tried to pet him to let him know it was ok, it was just me but he wasn't there. I literally did not sleep Friday night. I had to work for an hour on Saturday so I got up at 6:30 and started working. Saturday was so hard for me. I'd be ok for one minute and then losing it the next. Once Maddy got up I had to suck it up and be ok because I do not like to cry in front of her. We went up to my mom's pretty early. My youngest niece was there and I knew it would be better for Maddy. I was just anxiously waiting for noon because I was supposed to call and check on him to see how he was doing. Noon finally came. I did hear some really good news. His numbers were coming down. His BUN was at 81 and his creatinine was at 2.4 I think. The vet asked if he could stay another day since the goal is to get them down to normal or as close to normal as possible. I was really sad he wouldn't be coming home but also SO thankful they were at least coming down. She was positive because it hadn't even been a full 24 hours. I did expect to call today and hear they were normal, but they were not and the vet on call was NOT very helpful. He didn't tell me his numbers and was pushing me to take him home since it was becoming quite pricey. He didn't even bother to say bye, he just hung up. If you are in the Chattanooga area DO NOT let Dr. Ashley at Animal Clinic East work with your pet. I have had to use him a couple other times and both times I really regretted it. His levels today were 47 for BUN and 1.9 for creatinine. His doctor will be in around 7 a.m. tomorrow and will rerun his labs and I'm quite sure he will get to come home tomorrow. Not a lot of people understand just how much Manny means to me, but to describe how I've felt this weekend, it's no different than losing a family member unexpectedly. I have hope right now that he will live longer because his numbers did come down, which means there is a higher chance of the medicine maintaining his numbers. He will have  to go on a kidney diet and drink a lot of water and go to the bathroom a lot. I will do whatever it takes to keep him healthy. It's going to be hard not to give him left over scraps, but the alternative is just not an option. We were able to go see him on Saturday and that just made my day. I really think it made his too. My mom, Maddy, my youngest niece, and me loaded up and went to see him. He had the cone of shame on as I call it. They said he kept trying to chew his bandage to his IV line, but I also think it is to keep him from licking. Oh yeah...his itchy, smelly skin problem is from the kidney disease...he has a yeast infection of the skin so I will need to purchase a special shampoo and bathe him frequently.

The last picture he was right under my chair/desk at work. Within the past month or so he started snuggling under there. I really should have noticed he was getting worse, but I just didn't. I do think I have learned that work is important, but I can't let it rule my life and not put my family first. I'm not a workaholic by any means, but I try my best to stay out of trouble but if it means putting my family last, then I just can't do that. I am really dreading going into work tomorrow...but it's a little easier knowing that I might get to bring my buddy home. Once he is home I will have to take him back to the vet within a week to have his levels rechecked to make sure the medicine is doing it's job. I am very thankful for my mom for being here for me through all of this. She has a special connection with Manny in ways no one would believe. Maddy has also been so sweet to me. I'm praying hard Manny gets to come home tomorrow and that the medicine will keep his numbers down.

I will kind of be missing in action for the rest of the year. I have a lot going on and have done a horrible job at posting this year. This has not been my year and I'm ready to kick it goodbye lol. I will definitely be posting about Christmas. I'm not sure when I will be posting again, so just in case...Merry Christmas everybody!!!

Dee

As I mentioned in another post we had an unexpected present from santa show up on our door on Thanksgiving. It was one of his elves. Maddy gave her the name Dee. Thanksgiving night we left Dee on our kitchen table still on her shelf. When we woke up she was no longer there. We looked everywhere for her and finally found her "hanging" out.

I can't remember exactly the order she moved around in after Thanksgiving but here is what I remember. One night she moved over to Maddy's kitchen and sat on top. Maddy of coarse had to touch her, which meant she lost her magic, so she stayed there for two nights in a row. We found her on top of our movie case one morning and on the door jamb of the closet.
She was apparently cold when she came back on night cause we found her here one morning:

I started realizing that Dee just seemed to kind of move around so I wasn't sure what the fuss was all about that I have heard. Little did I know that Dee was just waiting for the official countdown to Christmas to begin. We woke up on December 1 and of coarse Dee had moved from her spot. It wasn't too hard to realize she moved because in the hallway under our countdown to Christmas calender, Dee had a great surprise for Maddy.

Maddy had just said she didn't want a big Christmas tree, but a tiny one. I asked her what color and she said pink. I guess Dee can hear us in the car too:)

On Sunday she landed on our big Christmas tree and had pulled out the lights to decorate with. I guess she got too tired to finish lol.

Maddy is finally starting to learn to look for her. I think it helps that her class has an elf too. She woke up this morning and told me she would be right back. I followed her to see what she was doing and she was looking for Dee.

This is Dee's events from Thanksgiving until December 4. She really has gone pretty easy on us thank goodness, but who knows how the rest of the season will go. Maddy LOVES trying to find her. If she does something good she wants me to tell Dee..it really is cute. No worries though, I am talking to Maddy about how Christmas is Jesus' birthday. I'm thinking of having a birthday party for Jesus on Christmas morning with her that way she knows what the real meaning of Christmas is. She is at such a fun age this Christmas and I'm just loving it!

Thanksgiving 2012

It looks like I may be behind in blogging for the rest of the year. My schedule is so hectic right now. We are currently in the middle of crunch week at church on top of having overtime at work.

We had a great Thanksgiving! My 4 day weekend began Wednesday at 1:33 p.m.I woke up at 4 a.m. to be able to leave early. It was really hard making myself work at that time, but so worth it! Santa needed a little help in getting elf ready so I helped. Once elf was all ready I went and picked up Maddy from school. Thursday morning we woke up with a surprise from santa. I took a video with my phone, however, I ran out of storage as she was opening it. I stopped her for a minute to delete pics and then she continued.

Before this video she asked if it was Christmas. We read the book and she ended up getting really mad because she couldn't touch her. She did give her a name...Dee. We had a bit of a rough start to Thanksgiving as she woke up in a bad mood. I think she was in pain and didn't know how to handle what she was feeling. The last straw was when she started hitting me. She took a time out and I told her she had better turn those listening ears on! It was actually quite cute because as soon as I said that she simply said, "Ok" and turned them on. I had to walk out of the room to laugh. After she turned her listening ears on though she was a total sweetheart the rest of the day. I didn't take any pictures with my camera and I'm glad I didn't try...I found out as we were looking at Christmas lights at Rock City that my memory card was full. I snapped a pic with my phone.

I did try to get her interested in the Macy's parade, but she wasn't having it...she just wanted to play.

On Friday we stayed home for the most part. I was extremely tired Friday. I think all the late nights/early mornings caught up with me because I just could not shake it. We played until it was time to get my oil changed. Saturday was a real fun day. We went shopping with my mom for boots and warm clothes. We had plans of going to Rock City to see the wonderful lights but it was going to be in the low 30's. My mom and I found our boots on sale for $19.98...they are normally $39.99. They kept the doorbuster price and I was so excited. I found Maddy some too, but hers actually cost more than mine...$29.99. After we got our boots we went to Academy Sports for some gloves for Maddy. I ended up finding another cute pair of boots for her for only $12.99. I snatched them up :) Once we got done shopping we were ready for Rock City. I took some pictures on my phone, but will add more as I get them.

Our weekend

This weekend has been a great one. I had to work for about an hour on Saturday and that wasn't so fun, but after that it was good. Poor Maddy doesn't understand why mommy works all the time. Once I got done with work it was time to get ready for a day full of shopping. My mom came by and picked us up. While we were waiting me and Maddy got to play for a little bit together. We checked out Hobby Lobby for a Christmas wreath for our house. They had a couple that I liked, but it just wasn't quite what I was wanting. I will say they had a great deal...all Christmas stuff was 50% off. The wreath I really liked was $129.99 so it would have been around $64. That's a good deal, but it was a little more than I wanted to spend. My mom got a snowman that tells the Christmas story. Maddy loved it and kept making it play. After Hobby Lobby we went to Bi-Lo. If you coupon Bi-Lo has sugar for $1.99, but there is a .55 coupon which makes it .89. That's the cheapest sugar I've paid since I started. Publix was our last store. I now know I didn't get the best priced ham (Kroeger has their brand $1.99/lb), but they were cheaper than what I had previously seen at Wal-Mart. It completely ruined my trip as far as staying below a certain number, but I am beyond excited to have bought our first "holiday" ham. We always go to my grandmother's for Thanksgiving so I don't have to prepare a meal, but I did want to have a mini meal. I wanted to cook it tonight and make dressing, but I didn't realize I was out of bread and I don't have sage so I will wait till this weekend to make our Thanksgiving meal. I also bought us a Christmas dog that sings Deck the Halls and actually walks around. My mom has one so Maddy is very familiar with it. I'm not quite sure where I'm going to put him (or her...Maddy says she is a girl) but I'm so happy to have him in our home.

Once we got done shopping we came back home and played outside on Maddy's playground. You pretty much know how your time outside is going to be spent. She always swings first. The first time she hops in the swing she actually stays on for a good bit. After she swings she climbs up to slide and then will either climb up again or go to her swing, but the time she spends on the swing the second go round is like half the time as the first. It just keeps repeating until she's pitching fits or she will go in her playhouse or on her table under her playground. I do love the conversations we have while she swings though.

On Sunday we went to Lowes and got our Christmas wreath. I was so happy to find something more on the lines of what I was looking for. Maddy had fun looking. What I really wanted was the "no strings attached" prelit wreaths...it has a control on the back to turn the lights on or make them twinkle. It was only on one wreath and it was pretty plain. I don't want my wreath to look good only at night. I did know from that, that I wanted a lighted wreath. I finally chose this one:

I had to test it out. I'm not putting it up until Thanksgiving. I don't like the cord, however, it will only be plugged in at night and during the day I can tuck the cord away. I liked it in the store, but I still wasn't sure about it. The more I look at it the more I am just thrilled over it. I also got us a cheap Christmas tree skirt that says Merry Christmas. I refuse to buy things that say Happy Holidays. I intentionally look for "Merry Christmas." The skirt I really want is plaid on the ends and embroidered with Merry Christmas on it too. I plan on upgrading next year:)

Besides the wreath the most exciting part of the weekend was my trip to CVS. I bought the following:
(1) Advil 10 ct ($2.99)
(1) Children's Advil-1 oz.($2.37)
(2) Airwick oil warmer (.99)
(1) Glad oil warmer ($1.25)

I used a dollar off coupon for the children's advil, $2/2 airwick, $1 off the glade warmer. Out of pocket I paid $5.40. What made this so great is I got ECB on everything I bought for the price I bought them at. I believe there is a limit of one on the airwick, which means it wasn't 100% savings, but I couldn't have done much better than that. I was so excited...I sat in the parking lot for a while just soaking in the great deal I just got. I was supposed to get a command hook, but I couldn't find them and I didn't have a coupon anyways. I'm gong back and hopefully going to do as good.My next trip I plan to pay nothing out of pocket by using my ECB, but will also get back some ECB.

I had orchestra practice at 7:00 tonight. Once we got done and came back home Maddy made a picnic in our kitchen. She spread out her blanket and said she wanted to eat there. We had a great evening and a great picnic. We ate, we talked, and we laughed. Our weekend doesn't sound that exciting, but it's been a good one. I'm stressed about work but love knowing I only have 3 days and it's going to feel like 2.5 cause I hope to be done early on Wednesday. I get to spend Thursday and Friday with Maddy and I'm going to love every minute of it. We are going to finish our Christmas decorating (minus the tree) on Thanksgiving.

I want to get some bows for our shutters and candles for the windows and I'm really hoping we can do icicle lights, but I'm thinking that will be a no. I have to get our greenery with lights up above the cabinets and then that will probably be all this year. Can you tell I'm just a little head over heels for Christmas???

Journal Entry # 2

I made it to the weekend!!! Today was no fun. I did, however, find some information out. I took an online workshop from score.org that talked about starting a business. They have a free workbook for you to fill out to help guide you in the process of starting a business. You can pick one up at your local score office or download it on your computer. I'm so impatient on this that I downloaded mine on my computer. I knew I needed a business plan, but didn't understand the importance of it. It basically is what is going to help in the loan process but also helps you see your profits. There is a piece of it I don't know how to do. I don't know how you know what your start up costs and projected profits are going to be before you even begin. I can understand start up costs moreso than profits. It talked about your cashflow and other terms that I'm just not sure about. The advice I'm hearing and reading is just to take it one step at a time. I guess I just want to dive right into the big picture without taking all these small steps. I know business wise that is not good lol. This weekend I plan to try to start my business plan and do maybe do some research on where my center should be. I know where I want it but I'm not sure if it will be beneficial or not. Everywhere I turn I'm hearing/reading to start out with a babysitting service and then into a home daycare and then into a center. This is going to have to be my plan if I want to get started into my passion. I would never be able to live off of a babysitting service. If I were younger I would have no problems doing this, but I'm almost 30. I think at some point I'm going to have to get a job at a daycare center to get some daycare experience in and have more time to start my own daycare. Maddy has been in two daycares total. There were/are good in both facilities. I want to take the good and keep in my facility, but I want to find ways to get rid of the bad I've experienced in both facilities. It's time I take my ideas and put them on paper and figure out this business plan thing so I can move forward. One thing about the funding section I thought was hilarious is they say there are other ways other than traditional ways to get funding. One being savings or from family and friends. That was hilarious to me because I don't know many people who have family or friends that just have a million dollars sitting around. I definitely don't have that kind of cash in savings and if I did you can rest assured I wouldn't be going through the stress I am in my current job. I've looked at statistics before and the daycare I looked at projected their budget was a million dollars or so. That's just so unreal. I've looked into franchise and in order to get financed you have to have $500,000 in collateral and well I don't. I also wouldn't be happy in a franchise. I mean if it were all I could get then I'd take it but it's not my ideal.

I noticed that even though today was a rough day I felt happy inside. I felt like a weight had been lifted somewhat. I'm so happy to start working on a plan and I really can't wait to see where God leads me. If it's not daycare then I know it's somewhere other than where I am currently.

What I learned today: You may not know where to begin with something God lays on your heart, but if you don't do what He's been telling you to for a while He will find an alternate path. Once you realize what is going on and take just a small step in getting started you will find that inner peace you haven't felt in a while due to worrying about things that you shouldn't be. I think I was supposed to be working on this a year ago, but I decided I'd rather hold on to the comfort of my paycheck. It makes me sad to see Maddy's face when she sees me working all the time and it's hard knowing that we live together but I only really get to spend time with her on Saturday because I work from the time we get up to the time we go to bed. I know owning my own business will have demanding hours, but I am in charge of those hours. I can take breaks throughout the day and devote to Maddy. I know if this actually happens ( and I pray it does!) the first year I'll probably be working more than I am now, but it's still so different. I t will be something I am very passionate about and I would be my own boss. I wouldn't have to "punch" a time clock and worry about getting my time in...I'll just have deadlines and that kind of thing. I can take Maddy to work with me everyday and if she's having a "mommy" moment I could just take her out for the day. I know I won't have this up and running before she is out of daycare, but I can dream can't I? Ok, I'm rambling now...I am going to try to journal as much as possible for my own benefit of seeing just what God did do. No matter what I know He has a plan...Jeremiah 29:11

Life Change?

This will be a "boring" post to most, but I think it will be beneficial to me in the future...maybe. I've known for a while that my current job is not where I was going to stay. I didn't think I would anyways. It's no secret that I've wanted to own my own daycare for a while now, but that's such a huge task to overtake that I just have no idea where to begin. Obviously my first plan would be to come up with a business plan. Do you think this girl knows anything about business plans??? That would be a no lol. I've found sample ones online and I really think it's something I could get done if I just gave it a shot. I can get past that obstacle, but the one that gets me everytime is the funding. I want to run a privately owned and operated facility but have no idea where to even begin to look for funding.
For a while now I've had Maddy's daycare on my mind. I've always thought I was supposed to try to get a job there, but I'm not sure. There is no way I could afford to work there. Not to mention we aren't too liked there due to an issue that occurred when we first started going there. I always end up just forgetting the whole thing and just try my best to hold on to the job I have now. I feel like if I'm not careful God is going to "force" me out of my current job to do what I'm supposed to be doing. I know daycare is for me...I have no doubt about that. I just don't know for sure what it is I'm supposed to be doing. I had a talk with my mom today and she told me to pray specifically that God would tell me or show me what it is exactly I'm supposed to be doing and what Maddy's school has to do with anything. I've been so busy crying about my current job that I haven't really focused too much on the daycare thing. I'm hoping I will be open to whatever answer He gives me. The problem is what He usually wants me to do is so far out of my comfort zone. Because of that I wonder if I will really hear what He says for fear of what it might be. I mean I've left my job before without having a back up plan and I had bills such as a car payment that couldn't go unpaid. As I'm thinking back to that time I was just reminded that even though I had no job lined up my needs were met. If my needs were met back then when it was just me and it was mainly a car that was taken care of...won't God take care of me and Maddy that much more? It's so easy to sit here and say that, but to put that into action is almost unbearable to think about. I'm not saying I'm quitting my job but it really wouldn't surprise me if I do in the near future. This will be another prayer journal entry for me to see how the end results end up. I remember writing at the end of last year and wondering what all would happen this year. Honestly this year has been a horrible year...well..not completely, but mostly lol. I feel it's a miracle I've made it this far. I think this year was the start of a new chapter for me. I'm so thankful for God providing me and Maddy our own place and for Him providing the resources for bills to be paid on time and food on the table and Christmas bought. I'm even more thankful that He brought us back to our "home" church. He has done a lot in a year's time. It will be interesting to see where me and Maddy are in life this time next year...hopefully it will be a MUCH better year next year :) I do have high hopes for that and I am confident we will.

I'm not really "advertising" this post anywhere, but if you happen to stumble upon this post and you have ideas on how to start an actual daycare center...please please let me know. I'm at a loss here. I know it takes time to get everything done. Maddy's daycare took 5 years before they were up and running...I don't have 5 years to wait, but again we will see what God has in store. I am also fully aware that God may NOT lead me down this road...right now all things are pointing towards a daycare for me, but it may not be anything like what I am thinking.

Life Happens

I can't believe next week is Thanksgiving. I must say I am beyond excited (despite the yucky couple of weeks I've been having) and cannot wait for our local stations to play nonstop Christmas music. Tonight was the start of Hallmark channel's Christmas movie night. I actually have the schedule handy:

I'm usually not THIS Christmas dorky lol...I found it in a magazine I have and of coarse I am posting it to my fridge :) Come December I will be watching ABC Family's 25 Days of Christmas and then flip back over to Hallmark. This girl is serious about her Christmas movie/tv time lol.

I have been browsing the Black Friday Ads on my phone...I have an app :) There aren't too many things I see yet that I think are just amazing. There is one thing on there for Maddy that seems like a great deal so I'm hoping they will have it online as well. I've decided to do my black Friday shopping online...if it's not online then it's not worth it...unless it's like a 60" tv for like $20. I'm contemplating becoming an Amazon Prime member, but I'm just not sure if it's really worth it. It equates to less than $7.99/month but I don't know. If I do then I would probably cancel my blockbuster mail program to make up the difference. Are any of you Amazon Prime members and if so is it really worth it??

Maddy has some strange ways of sleeping.

What you don't see is that one of her legs is dangling down to the floor. I got tickled at her and had to snap the pic. I never know how I will find her when I go in there to check on her. One day I really expect her to not be in her bed and me freak out. It wouldn't surprise me to find her under her bed, in her closet, or even in the rocking chair. Speaking of rocking chair I am thinking about taking it out of her room next year..closer to when she turns 4 and making her room really her room. I'm not putting ALL toys in her room, but some. Right now I don't allow toys to stay in her room because she would probably get out of bed to play.

She has been waking me up unusally lately. I'm not complaining at all...I'm just not sure why the change all of a sudden...I know I know...she's growing up lol. The past couple of weekends and even this morning she will scream, " MOMMY.....I NEED TA POO POO AND PEE PEE!!!!!!" I don't always wake up immediately...I usually end up catching the last word or something and then think I'm dreaming until she does it again lol. I will say I am very proud of her though because every time I have taken her with the exception of one morning, she really has pottied. She's doing SO good on telling me when she needs to pee and I'm really feeling more encouraged. I am hitting the spot of driving down the road and then all of a sudden needing a bathroom right then right there. I think I should carry her potty in my car because at home she uses the big potty. Is this TMI? lol. She is really wanting to wear big girl panties so she has been working hard on potty.

I have most of her Christmas shopping done. I am very thankful the Lord has provided enough money for her Christmas. I am getting her a couple more presents and then I will start working on the rest of my family. I have no idea what I'm doing for them.

This past weekend was a lazy weekend for us. I actually think we both had a touch of something. I got out Saturday morning, but the only reason I did is because I was supposed to have my oil changed and needed to get the supplies. Once we got home we played and watched tv. We did get a good nap in...I was SO thankful for nap that day. I really was beyond tired and had no reason to be. I realized she was being super quiet and had been in her room. I decided to peek in and she was working diligently on getting her shoes on. I tried to snap a picture but she had just finished and was getting up when it took.

I think she was embarrassed when she saw me because she had that look like aw man lol

These are the random glimpses into what has been happening in our life lately. Hope y'all have a great week!

Moms On Call

I thought after having two days off I would feel so much better, but boy was I wrong. Those two days were apparently were the calm before the storm. I seem to be having more of these days lately than not. I usually have an idea when I'm going to be going through rough times, but this hit me completely off guard.

Maddy has really been acting out this week. I thought the two's were bad...HA!!! I do think the three's are worse. She has developed this attitude already when she talks back to me. I swear I think I'm living with a teenager already lol. She is packed FULL of emotions and she wants things done when she wants them. Don't get me wrong...I love her to death, but this has been a very challenging week behavior wise. Last night I threw in the towel after being hit multiple times by her. I had heard about Moms on Call through a blog I read, but didn't really think I needed it nor did I think it would be worth the money. Last night I didn't care lol. The online seminar is $29.95 and they also have a toddler book for $15.95. If I weren't so desperate I would have just bought the book, but I needed answers right then. It was the best thing I could have done for myself. I didn't learn a lot of "new" information...they just gave me my confidence back. From the time Maddy was born I've had all kinds of people put into my thoughts that I'm basically not a good parent. I should have done this or I carried her car seat wrong or I didn't have socks on her feet or her blanket was too thin, etc. When you hear these things consistently you really begin to doubt yourself...especially when you grew up in a home where everything you did was wrong. I'm not perfect by any means, but I was so relieved to find out that I've been doing most of what they recommend for toddlers. I did learn a few things that I am implementing. Things such as lay out what the house rules are and there are three: 1) Obey mommy 2) Do not hurt yourself and 3) Do not hurt others (hands are for helping not hurting). I've learned when she pitches a fit it is ok to remove her and put her in a room by herself and let her "cry it out" and then I can go in and talk to her. I've learned things about dinner that I thought were ok but I just wasn't sure. Watching this online video was the equivalent of a mommy spa day lol. I had no idea just how much confidence had been chipped away in  the three short years she's been born, but it was pretty close to empty. I feel renewed in my parenting ability and highly recommend it if you're sitting there wondering what in the world you should do next. I do plan on buying the book in the future.

Halloween Fun

The weekend before Halloween we had a "Halloween fun day." We were supposed to bake cupcakes AND cookies, but my mom's mixer decided to break down so we were only able to bake cupcakes. Maddy and my two nieces took turns putting in the ingredients to make the cupcakes. Once they were done they each got to decorate their own. Maddy had so much fun just pouring the icing on the cupcake, but she didn't like to taste ALL the icing she poured out lol. My nieces are old enough to understand that pouring out the icing might be fun, but it wouldn't taste too good. It was a very trying day. Maddy was unable to get her nap in so her mood was touch and go lol.

Sorry, I rotated it but it isn't showing as rotated on here. Once it was all mixed up they put their cupcake papers in the pan.

 Her dog sitting beside has become her best friend...for now. She has actually named this one...her name is Bella. I LOVE the name :) She alternates favorites every so often.

Maddy's iced cupcake :)

After we finished cupcakes it was time to carve our Mickey Mouse pumpkin! None of the kids really liked to feel the inside of the pumpkin lol. Maddy just did whatever my two nieces did, but I don't think she minded as much as they did...getting out the goop that is lol.

It was a very fun time and we plan on making the cookies this month :)

A Fall Day

This weekend we had a great day outside! Saturday we had morning orchestra rehearsal, which apparently I was too concerned with actually getting there on time I didn't notice I left my keys hanging in the door! Sometimes I really amaze myself:) After practice me and Maddy went with my mom to pick up my nieces to start off our "fall day" fun. My mom got a nice big leaf pile and the kids all enjoyed jumping in...especially Maddy. This was her first time jumping in leaves and she just had a ball!

My camera died after that last picture, so I will have to add more once I get my mom's memory card:) My mom had a great idea of making a bon fire and roasting hot dogs and making s'mores. She wasn't able to obtain a burning permit, so we couldn't make a real bonfire, but we were able to make one in the grill. All the kids took turns roasting hot dogs and marshmallows and they really seemed to enjoy it. They wore oven mitts to keep their hands safe from the heat. It was an extra fun day and something to remember for a while! I can't wait to share the pics :)

Halloween 2012

I'm way behind in blogging. Last week I actually got up early to start work, which meant going straight to bed after work...we are on OT.

I took Maddy costume shopping at the beginning of October to pick out her costume. She chose a ladybug. The day before Halloween I was telling her she was going to dress up in her ladybug costume tomorrow. She got so upset because she said she wanted to be a cat. I was so torn on what to do. Do I go get her a cat costume or do I just keep the ladybug.I decided that it was best for everybody's sake to just keep the ladybug costume. It all worked out because on Halloween she had no problems being a ladybug. She was such a cute one too!! She was a ladybug when she was a year old so now I can compare pictures :)

Halloween 2012 vs. Halloween 2012 lol. We went to our church's trunk or treat. Maddy did so good. We sat for a long time and watched everybody come through. Maddy liked seeing other ladybugs there. It was then her turn to go get some candy. She was too busy watching everybody else she didn't notice people with candy in their hands. I didn't bother having her say trick-or-treat to anybody because it was just so crowded. I did try to get her to say thank you, but she was way too preoccupied. We had a lot of fun and she has enough candy to last her till at least Christmas.

Liebster Blog Award

Thank you so much Wendy for nominating me. Wendy has a wonderful blog that you can view here.

The rules, should you be nominated:

1. If you were nominated, post 11 things about yourselves.
2. Then answer the 11 questions the person who nominated you created.
3. Create 11 more questions to ask the bloggers you decided to nominate.
4. Choose 11 bloggers to nominate with less than 200 followers.
5. Make sure and let these people know you nominated them! No tag backs, so don't nominate someone who nominated you.

11 things about myself:

1) I am a VERY shy person. It takes me forever to warm up to people, but once I do I am a huge talker. Most people think I am a snob because I rarely talk and don't make eye contact and those type of things...I seriously need to work on this lol.

2.) I absolutely LOVE going to the beach. There are days I wish I lived on the beach

3.) I get the Christmas spirit by October and generally listen to non stop Christmas music from October through the New Year.

4.) I am a child of God and He is constantly showing me things. This year I have really focused on getting my faith back like it was when I first got saved. I have also been humbled quit a bit this year.

5.) I am a single mom to my three year old daughter Maddy. She is truly a gift from God.

6.) I am a weather geek. I enjoy keeping up with it and try to predict bad weather on my own, but I need a lot more practice.

7.) I play the flute. I started playing in middle school, midway through my seventh grade year. I started out on clarinet but my band teacher at the time didn't have time to work with anybody but the percussion. I needed help on fingerings, so I switched to flute so my mom could help me when my band teacher couldn't. We are the flute section at our church.

8.) I love to scrapbook, but generally don't have the time nor money to devote to it. I have started Maddy's scrapbook, but haven't gotten very far.

9.) I like to work out...I actually love it...it's just the time issue in actually doing it. I pretty much work 24/7 so by the time I'm off of work I either have the choice of working out, cleaning up, cleaning myself, or bed.

10.) I have high hopes of ONE day being able to own and operate my own daycare. I have a lot of opinions when it comes to daycare and how they should be run. I want to make my facility the best, or what I consider to be the best, but work with parents on the financial piece of it...daycare's today cost WAY too much.

11.) I love pretty much anything with hearts on it. I can't explain my fascination with hearts, but they are special to me. I actually have a heart shaped freckle on my knee. Needless to say I LOVE the liebster blog award lol.

11 Questions for Wendy's Nominees

1. What do you struggle with right now?
I have been really struggling with worry. I am a true worry wart even though we aren't supposed to. God has been trying to show me how He can provide for me if I just trust in Him, but that devil knows right where to get me. 
2. What's your favorite comfort food?
Well, mine is more of a beverage. For stress I go for mello yello, but my so called comfort food would be a cappuccinno blast from baskin robbins. My favorite food would be a variety lol...Olive Garden is pretty high up there.
3. What can you do really well that's unusual?
I'm very good at messing things up lol. This is a tough one. There aren't many things I consider myself to do really well...the only thing I am somewhat confident in is being a good mom. Maybe playing the flute??? 
4. What can you cook that everyone absolutely loves?
I'm fairly new to cooking all the time. I haven't cooked for people yet, other than Maddy. I did find a recipe on Pinterest that is just amazing and that is Crockpot Cream Cheese Chicken Chili....I HIGHLY recommend that recipe :)
5. What inspires you?
My daughter Maddy
6. What do you see yourself doing in ten years?
I'm really hoping I will be in a profession that I am passionate about such as daycare. I have a heart for the children and helping them see just how special they are...especially in the eyes of the Lord. I will also be crying over Maddy being a teenager lol
7. What's the best advice you've ever been given?
To pray about everything and trust in the Lord. 
8. What one word do you think describes you best?
shy
9. What is your best feature?
I'm really not sure. I think it's my heart. I  sincerely care for people and would do whatever I could to help. 
10. What's your favorite time of the day and why?
The end of they day when I'm rocking Maddy. We have some of the best moments when we rock. In fact she brought tears to my eyes last night because she had me fold my hands in prayer and she took it upon herself to pray my toe would feel better...that really touched me and is something I will NEVER forget. I was one proud mom!
11. Where is your favorite vacation spot?
For now Panama City Beach, Florida

11 Questions For My Nominees:
1.) If you could go anywhere in the world, where would you go and why?
2.) What if you favorite TV show?
3.) Do you have a favorite type of car?
4.) Has 2012 been a good year for you?
5.) Favorite nonalcoholic drink?
6.) Favorite fast food restaurant?
7.) Favorite dine in restaurant?
8.) Favorite recipe?
9.) How do you cope with stress?
10.) What made you start blogging?
11.) Favorite time of year?

I don't know 11 blogs to nominate and most of the people I know have already been nominated. I may have to add to this a little at a time. I am tagging:

1.) Amy at All About Us
2.) Rachael at The Lewis Family

God Provides

This has been a very strange week for me. I would never imagine a broken toe could cause THIS much pain. The pain level has actually made me very nauseous all week. Yesterday/this morning was the worse. I didn't get much sleep last night. I fell asleep around midnight and woke up at 2 a.m. in excruciating pain. I decided to go ahead and take a pain pill and hoped I would be able to get up. I went back to bed around 3 and then was up at 7 and the pain had returned. Having a broken bone is no joke. I knew this wasn't going to be a good week, but it's nothing like I thought and in a way I'm kind of glad. I do NOT like having a broken toe. I find myself trying to hurry around the house like I normally do, but I just can't walk fast at all. I had our meals all planned out and was only able to cook one of them. I haven't been able to clean. I haven't been able to do much of anything. The reason I haven't been able to do these things is not because I'm physically unable to, but because I have been so sick and it has absolutely exhausted me. I am on constant overtime so I decided I needed to get as much sleep as I could and worry about the household chores over the weekend. I hadn't really stopped to think about how God has provided for me this week until recently. God is so good and cares about our needs and wants. Here is how God has provided: The only doctor I would see did not have any openings until November 7. I refused to go to anybody else. By Wednesday I felt so sick that my hands were tingling and I just felt weird and I got a little worried, so I tried going to my PCP but it was her off day. I had to see another doctor in the group and it was a huge mistake. He was a royal booty head. The first doctor that didn't have any openings would have given me an orthotic shoe to wear and would have taped my toe up and probably would have x-rayed it to make sure it was ok. My mom had unfortunately broken her toe 2 years ago so she still had her shoe. She found the tape at a drugstore to tape me up with and she also had crutches I could use. My mom helped me bathe Maddy because there was no way I could. She also picked up dinner for Maddy and me. My mom picked up Maddy for me Wednesday and took her to church and then brought her home. She also fed Maddy for me. I had forgotten that a pizza place called Papa Murphy's was going to be at Maddy's school giving out one free pizza to each family. The day I needed a meal the most is the day it was our turn for a pizza. I was telling my mom how God had just really provided for me this week and I was so thankful and she added that not only did God provide me food but He gave it with a smile. The pizza was in the shape of a pumpkin and they put a smiley face on it.

 I mean how cool is that. My mom came over tonight to help me bathe Maddy again and she brought over some dinner for us that will be great for tomorrow. I've been a little worried over what I'm going to feed Maddy, but God has just taken care of it all. I am so thankful my mom has been so willing to help. Bless her heart she has gone back and forth so much for me, but I truly appreciate her help.

Broken

Yesterday I gave Manny a bath, which he absolutely detests. Instead of drying him off some in the tub like I normally do, I just let him go wild lol. This was my first mistake. I wasn't really thinking about how much water he could really "shake" off of him, but it was a huge puddle in my bathroom. I was wiping it up with a towel and somehow managed to slam my foot into the corner of my bathroom cabinet. It was definitely painful and I had to hold back a tear or two because Maddy was in there with me. She asked me what happened and I told her I had a boo boo. I went on about my day as usual. At some point I even put on my tennis shoes. I noticed as the day went on my foot or toe started hurting more and more. After I washed Maddy I went and sat on the couch and realized I may have actually broken my toe earlier. After putting Maddy to bed I was in some intense pain. My mom has broken her toe so of coarse I called her asking what I could do. Tylenol is about all there is for now. Today it hurts so bad. It's discolored and just blah. It's the kind of pain that can make you feel nauseous. I have to drive with cold air blasting and spearmint gum in my mouth. On my way to get Maddy from school this afternoon I felt so sick. I found a way I could drive without it killing me. Yes, I did manage to put on a shoe...I actually sleep in my shoe because it puts pressure where I need it, but I also know it probably is squeezing my toe all at the same time.  Please know that I was stopped when I took this picture and I would not have driven like this had it not been safe or had it altered my driving abilities :)

Luckily for me it's the toe next to my pinky toe, otherwise, I don't think I would be able to put a shoe on. I did take my shoe off today to shoe my mom and to try out her boot from when she broke her toe, but it just wasn't enough support. It's the strangest feeling...yes, it hurts pretty darn bad but when my shoe comes off it just feels like it has a mind of it's own and will twitch and just feels weird. I'm contemplating going to the doctor to get my own boot but I'm scared of the pain they may inflict lol.

As the day goes on I find myself not able to cope with the pain as well. I'm not able to keep my emotions under control. As I was taking Manny out for the night I found myself listing all the things in my head that I need to be doing and with a broke toe I can't really do because the more I'm up the more pain it causes, plus it has exhausted me having to walk the way I do. My thinking started to turn into complaining and before it got too far I heard God tell me that this time was to be used to spend with Him. When I heard Him I immediately realized that even though I'm in physical pain, I needed to thank Him.  I needed to thank Him for showing me a positive in a negative situation. I needed to thank Him for being here with me as He always is. Thank Him for giving me extra time to spend with Him. The things I need to do can wait or they just aren't THAT important. God knows how busy my life is. No, He didn't cause me to break my toe, but He did allow it  and I know He allowed it so I could put my focus where it needed to be. I wanted to journal this because I do feel like I am gearing up for a hard battle. I don't know what lies ahead of me but God does. 

I watched a movie tonight that just really inspired me and I think it was based on a true story. I found it on Netflix and it's called A Greater Yes. I highly recommend this movie. One line I took away from it goes as follows (or similarly) "When God says no maybe it's because there is a greater yes in the future."  I want to write this down and next time God tells me no remember that there is a greater yes somewhere down the line. Jeremiah 29:11 is my favorite verse in the bible...For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord, plans to prosper...not harm you...no, I don't always do a great job of remembering that no matter what I go through God has a great plan for me, but when I'm able to stop and calm down this verse is just so comforting to me. I feel like I'm not making sense at all, but in my own head I am lol. This movie just hit on what I feel like I am really fixing to be tested on...always having faith no matter what our circumstances are. 

Goodbye Weekend

It's that time again...the time where we say goodbye to the weekend and hello to the week :( I feel like I'm in for a really rough week and that kinda scares me. I have been trying to pray up for this week, but I haven't done too good.

This weekend was a Mommy and Maddy weekend. We woke up early...ok late Saturday morning and got ready for the day. I originally planned on going straight outside when we woke up, but it was WAY too cold for me. I let Maddy watch tv while I got coupons ready for the store. Maddy decided she wanted to help me organize...she did a great job!

After we were all ready we went to the gas station to get mommy coffee (french vanilla cappuccino) and Maddy some juice and candy. After we got our goodies we headed up to my mom's house to let her dog out for her. My mom and step dad took off early Saturday morning to Knoxville for the Tennessee/Alabama game. My mom is a TN fan, but my step dad is an AL fan. My mom surprised my step dad with the tickets for his birthday. They had a lot of fun and got to experience the whole package. Next year we may be heading down to Tuscaloosa for the TN/AL showdown...it all depends on how Maddy is by that time.

my mom's cute decorations :)

After letting Misty out we headed back home for nonstop play time. We went back and forth from her swing to her glider back to her swing back to her glider and every now and then go down the slide. Her picnic table got put together this weekend as well, so she now has ALL of her swing set put together. After we played outside we had to go to the store and then let Misty out one more time. We didn't make it back home to see the kick off, which was at 7:45 but we did get to see from the 2nd quarter on. I told Maddy that's where her Nana and Pops were and from that point on she was very interested in watching the game. She got her baby and put her right beside her and then sat down next to me and watched. I was surprised at how long her attention span was. She kept asking me what happened. I started cheering the first time and she asked what I was doing. I told her the Vols scored. The next time I started clapping she turned around and asked me if they scored...it was so cute. We never got to see my mom and step dad on tv.

she was looking for Nana and Pops/watching the game

We had a very powerful church service this morning. Our pastor's prayer had me so ready for the skies to open up and see Jesus' face calling us home. Jesus is coming back for us one day. We don't know the time, day, or hour but we do know He's coming back. I am beyond ready for that day to come. My pastor also got me to thinking. He was talking about when the rapture happens...gave a scenario of your colleague coming to talk to you and they see nothing but your clothes. They wonder what happened to you then figured it out and said I wished you would have told me. I don't want anyone who comes in contact with me to have to say that same thing. I have really missed our church these past six years...it is such a blessing to be back :)

I hope you all had a great weekend and have a great day!

Football Friday

Today Maddy's school had football Friday. They decorate the foyer in TN and AL colors and have balloons and signs...it's really so very neat to walk in to. Obviously Maddy was dressed in orange today and I must she was so super cute...as she always is. I wanted to get a lot more pictures than I did, but we were running late as usual this morning and the director was at the front desk so I felt a little awkward trying to take a picture lol. I then tried to get a picture of Maddy in front of their decorated door, but right when I put her in front of the door it flew open...her class was going outside. Photo op number two didn't happen. When I went to pick her up I came prepared and at least got a couple of pictures.

 She was hyped up when I got her. She kept swinging the football behind her and I was scared she was going to break it because she was pushing it pretty hard. Then on her right side there were some Alabama balloons that she kept trying to bring down to her level. To get this picture she was not being still, which is why she looks like she does lol. She was rocking herself back and forth and I caught her on the up right before she went back.

Nana and Pops finished the rest of her swing set. She immediately noticed the glider and swang on it for a while. She wanted it to go fast like her swing, but it just doesn't. She was not too happy because our next door neighbor's kid came over and talked our ears off. My mom and step dad didn't really get to visit with Maddy at all due to the kid talking...he must be very lonely :)

I'm not a big football fan at all, but I will be rooting for the Vols...GO VOLS!!!