Weekly Hit

So this week's song is Daniel Powter's "Bad Day." I first heard this song on American Idol believe it or not and I just fell in love with the song. Last year I was having a really bad day so I decided to look up the video and thankfully there was one and I almost think the video made the song even better...it is such a cute video. While I am working on letting God handle all of my worries and fears and what nots I resort to music to express how I feel, so if I am having a bad day I put this song on and try to watch the video and I either end up laughing or crying lol. I hope you all enjoy this video as much as I did.

Repeat Info

Ok, so I have posted this all over facebook and all over twitter...I cannot leave out blogger lol. I start my orientation for school on March 28. My enrollment advisor told me it would be 3 weeks long. The good news is there is no grade...I just have to participate in class and turn in my assignments. Oh man...that sounds so weird to me lol. I also found out today that I was originally slated to start this orientation next week...HA!! My old enrollment advisor never informed me of this. I prefer my old enrollment advisor as far as actually speaking to, but my new advisor seems more thorough and like he will get things done. He came across rude at first and I gave the same attitude back...I think he must have realized how he was sounding because he came off his attitude, but he is very dry lol. If I successfully complete this orientation, then I start my actual courses and voila...I will be a college student once again. Whereas I am very excited to start this chapter in my life, I must admit it comes with some other mixed emotions. I am very nervous that I might fail a class which would result me in having to pay for the class up front and I don't have any extra money to spare. I am worried about how I will get everything done with Maddy and work and now school. Soon after starting the process of enrolling with school I did have a semi break down moment with my mom because I thought I would have help from Maddy's dad to help me with her so I could get my assignments done. Once that option was gone I freaked because I don't get any down time as it is. The most I get is once I get off work at 10:00 p.m. and that usually only leaves me an hour if I want to get good sleep. As I cried on the phone with my mom over how I was going to do it all she was able to offer some comfort. My goal is to not ask for any help from anybody. Surely I can get my homework done throughout the week once I get off of work. I don't want to have to depend on anybody for help...especially since I know everybody has their own life to deal with without trying to help me with mine. The good thing about this college is you only do 2 classes at a time and that's considered full time. I do think the devil is trying to make me worry cause as soon as I got off the phone I instantly started having these "worries" crop up and I know worry is not from the Lord. Thankfully my friend Wendy's blog reminded me to let go of the worry and just give it to God. I wish I could just instantly do this all the time, but unfortunately I struggle greatly with this. Her blog not only helped me in my school situation, but it also helped me with work. This week has gone exceptionally well. I have been amazed at how well it has gone. I started to not enjoy the week for fear it would all go away, but I decided to claim the victory in Jesus' name. Today hasn't gone AS well as the other days this week, but instead of stressing out and fretting over it I just decided to let God handle it all and just keep on keepin on until God decides otherwise. Thank you Wendy for your post today on the secrets of marriage. It has really helped me in different ways really. Anyways...I got off track. I think I got all my excitement out for now so you probably won't hear about my school again until I am complaining because it's too much work lol.

Potty Training...Start Your Engines!

I have been so excited lately because whenever Maddy "dirties" her diaper she will look at me and point and say "dirty." I ask her if she is dirty and she says, "Yes." I then proceed to ask her if she needs a new diaper and she says, "Yes." For the most part if she says yes to a new diaper she will not fuss one bit when changing her diaper. She isn't full force ready to start potty training, but she is making steps in that direction. It's a bittersweet moment really. I want her to grow as a person and learn to become independent, but on the other hand I want her to stay my little baby forever. I think I am going to purchase her potty this weekend and put it in the bathroom and whenever I go to the bathroom, she can just sit on her potty and let her get comfortable with it. Once she starts having more and more dry diapers for naps and shows a little more potty training readiness, I will then start the task of potty training. That sounds so weird...I can't believe she is as grown up as she is...where did the time go??

Third Times the Charm

I've been meaning to write this for a while now, but something has prevented me everytime I go to write it. I was trying to think of what I could write about tonight and I was gonna write about mine and Maddy's weekend, but then this hit me so here we are. A few months ago I announced on facebook that Maddy would soon have a new little cousin to play with. We found out that she is going to have a little boy cousin. This is a new concept to me as I had envisioned it being a girl, but it will be a cute little boy.I'm hoping Maddy will adjust to seeing me hold a baby. With baby Aria she always wants me to step away from here lol. I completely understand her feelings on it though because from day one she has always had my undivided attention. She is my world day and night. Maddy is a good little mommy. She always wraps her baby up in a blanket, put her on her tummy, and pat her back until she is asleep. She also loves on her baby and makes sure she has her passy, then puts her back to sleep. I hope since she is growing and learning to play mommy she will be ok with her new little cousin.

Weekly Hit

This week's song actually was not picked based on how I am feeling lol. I am going in abc order and this week was the C turn and this just happened to be the first song up. When Carrie Underwood was on Idol I was rooting for her to win. I thought she would remain a down to earth person and thought she had a really good voice. When she sang this song on the show I immediately fell in love with it. This song says it all...Jesus take the wheel...lead my life. While I am in a rough spot in life right now this song couldn't have come at a more perfect time to remind me to let go and let God. All I can do is my best and He will do the rest. For the record I am not really a big Carrie Underwood fan. I think she has let the fame go to her head and she appears stuck up and snsnobby and I can't stand that. She also doesn't want to be known from American Idol and I think that's really sad cause if it wasn't for the show she wouldn't be where she is today. I wish all celebrities would remain "human" and not let their fame get to them.

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I have no real topic to talk about tonight...well...actually that's not entirely true, but I'm not going to just come out and say what I am thinking about tonight lol. I have no idea what is wrong with me...well..I kinda do. Today has just been a horrible day and the worst part about it is I am pretty sure I put the stress on myself. My day got started off wrong because when I dropped Maddy off at daycare this morning, her teacher scooped her up to take her with her to talk on the phone and I didn't get a chance to give her a hug and kiss and tell her I love her and bye and that I'd be back. When I got in my car it was all I could do to keep from boo hooing because I could just see Maddy thinking I would be in her room when she got back and then finding out that I wasn't...I didn't like how that might have made her feel. She may have handled it just fine I don't know, but it's important to me to let her know that I love her and that I'll be back for her. So I fought back tears all the way home. Once I got home and to work it just went downhill from there. I am not handling the stress from my job very well at all. It can't be healthy to stay this tore up all the time. I'm to the point of just throwing in the badge and if need be filing bankruptcy and just start completely over. At one point today I was so ready to do that, but the Lord keeps whispering in my ear the word "perserverance." I know the Lord has everything under control, but knowing that doesn't always make it easier. I definitely had a Job moment today to where I was comparing my life to somebody else's and in my head I was thinking about how I try to live for the Lord and it seems I struggle so much and people who aren't living for the Lord seem to just get stuff handed to them. My life has been nowhere close to easy, but one thing I can say is in every circumstance the Lord has brought me through and I end up a stronger person. There are many ways He has shown that He is leading me and I try to take comfort in that, but right now I just feel so defeated. No matter how hard I try it's just never good enough. I'm so tired of dealing with everybody's thoughts and opinions on how I should handle Maddy I could scream. I am so tired of everybody's thoughts and opinions on my job I could scream. I am so tired of everybody's thoughts and opinions on my relationships I could scream. Is there anything I can do right that makes somebody say, "Hey you're doing a good job." I constantly feel like I am being tugged and pulled on. If I don't do what this person thinks I should do then I'm a horrible mom, or if I do something that person thinks I shouldn't do then I just don't know what I'm doing or I'm being ridiculous...blah blah blah. Now that I have done my complaining and whining I am ready to move on to something a lot more exciting to talk about lol. In the middle of my wanting to just up and quit my job today I got an email from my academic advisor that was was welcoming me to college. The only thing I have left to do is complete a workshop, then I will officially start my classes. I haven't fully decided on how I am going to work school. I am starting out with my associate's that prepares me for a teaching degree. Originally I was going to get my bachelor's degree in teaching so if my daycare doesn't work out I could at least get a job with Hamilton County as a teacher somewhere. When I was enrolling I told my advisor what I was wanting to do and he told me that I might want to consider getting my associates in teaching and then going back and do the business aspect of things since running a daycare involves a lot of business. I had never even thought of that and I do think that's a good idea, but between the two I'd rather have my teaching degree. I saw on tv the other day though that Penn Foster actually has a daycare management type degree and all they require is for me to already have my associate's. So now I am contemplating once I get my associate's degree maybe transferring over to Penn Foster and go through their daycare classes. It's a lot to think about, but for now I will just take it one step at a time and only focus on passing my classes. I am nervous over that because if I fail a class then it ruins my financial aid. That's not adding any pressure at all for me to do well lol. When I got that email today I began to see a small glimmer of light and was so thankful to know there is an end to my current stress at work in sight...it is still a long ways off, but it's at least there. Before I saw no end so it gave me a little relief. I am going to do some research to see what is involved in running a daycare and if they require any degrees. If no degree is required then I may try to start work on getting it started now. It seems like Maddy's daycare owners said from the time they got the idea to start the daycare till the time it opened, it took 5 years. I may be wrong on that though because I know they have been open for 5 years and this year will be 6, but either way it does take time to get everything in place.I know if I can just get a building and loan and all that good stuff that my daycare will do just fine. I feel confident in the ideas that I have in order to make it successful, but the Lord will always be in the center of my daycare. I am starting to pray over my daycare now and I am asking the Lord to go before me and prepare the way. If you know someone who has started a daycare outside of their home and they are willing to give advice, please feel free to comment or email me. I have no idea about how to get things started and can use all the advice there is. I do believe I have made this quite lengthy already, so I will call it a night. Thanks for listening to me whine, this has prevented me from spending the rest of the night crying myself to sleep. I am now going to research daycare's. Good night!

Free Photo Books

Everybody likes free stuff right? I found this incredible offer from Picaboo.com. You get a free photo book that includes 20 pages. You simply click the link in my blog, start creating your book, and voila. I just tried it out and sure enough you get the book free. You do still have to pay for shipping, but it's only $7.99. The book itself costs $39.99 plus tax, which made it $47.98. The offer is good only to new customers of Picaboo and it only goes through March 22, so if you are interested in getting this wonderful deal you better hurry and click the link and get started. I will be looking for more great deals from them and will definitely let you all know what I find. Happy photo-booking :)